10 Steps Towards Coping with Office Conflicts

Our professional life and personal life are interlinked and have their overwhelming effects on each other. But life is like that and we are human beings because we have reason and emotions. We cannot defy the fact, so let's accept it, when we are frustrated and depressed in our personal life and relationships, our professional life is affected indirectly. 

If our professional life is driving us nuts, our personal life can be a living hell as well. Now, how to strike a balance in our emotions? Let us discuss our workplace problems in this article. Some of us are more vulnerable to our boss and our coworker's mischief.

Right?

The boss's angry statement and a coworker?s remark is enough to put a question mark on our self respect and worth in our own eyes. As if whatever they said was capable of showing our real self, and we take it personally and then overreact. 

Here is the point where our vulnerability brings out anger in us followed by a series of incidents to spoil the atmosphere for you in the office. Is this a desirable situation for you? No, never. Giving into the mischief will ruin your peace of mind causing professional as well as personal hazard.

The question is, how to grip the situation and bring it under your control? You will have to start the endeavor by not being vulnerable to your boss?s and coworker?s negative attitude. Then the other actions will follow?.let's go step by step:

Step 1: Identify your coworker/boss's mischief. By understanding ?Is this a mischief? you will not take it personally any more.

Step 2: Remember, self respect means realizing the fact that in spite of all your imperfections, you are a worthwhile human being.

Step 3: Have you been talking to your coworker/boss’s angry remarks personally, and trying to give him reasons to let him understand your point. Trust me, reason has nothing to do with his anger and his statements. Spot yourself taking his statements personally and trying to make him understand your points?Then stop doing so.

Step 4: You are NOT avoiding or denying the fact. You are just gaining the power of being logical, so that you do not overreact. You are choosing to deal appropriately with mischief.

Step 5: Now, try to deduce what kind of reaction they expect when they do the mischief? Anger, threatening, begging, flattering; that means they expect mischief from us, so that we feel weak and ashamed in our own eyes.

Step 6: Our goal is to respond to their mischief with self respect so that they cannot harm us. When self respect is hurt, we lose peace of mind and our worth.

Step 7: Start responding in an unexpected way. They do not expect us to agree with them. No, you do not have to agree with them, just allow them to feel the way they want.

Say ? I do not blame you for being angry. I would feel the same if I were you.? Let him understand that you are giving him respect in spite of his imperfections.

Step 8: Ask him to talk when he will be cool enough to discuss the matter, and ask him what actions should be taken to change the situation. Talk in a professional way, impersonating the whole issue, and talk to affect him.

Step 9: Agree with them on the fact that if you give them what they want, it would be nice. This will give him some relief from their painful anger while we stand on our ground. But you have not said that you will do whatever he wants.

Step 10: Your behavior would be of a person who is strong enough not to be provoked by the boss and coworker’s anger and mischief. You are standing strong with self respect by answering their questions, not being hostile but in a morally superior way.

When we are face to face with our anger provoking coworker/boss, our concentration is solely on their mischief and not on us. This way we forget that we are also a person and the mischief provoking man in front of us, is an imperfect human being. 

By changing focus from them to our own selves, we see how we should keep ourselves away from their provocations and thus keep away from doing the same mischief. This way we make ourselves morally superior to those mischief making coworkers and bosses. And this realization of difference between you and them will give you the power to keep your self respect as well as mutual respect and save you from conflicts 

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